Our bodies remember what our memory has forgotten.

Each of our experiences are recorded in our bodies. And to the unconscious, they are remembered today as if no time has passed.

I often ask clients what their bodies are feeling or trying to tell them. It's sort of an odd question for those of us who were raised with Western ideas of the body that say the body is one organ, separate from the emotions and thoughts of the brain. But the more science discovers about how our brains are wired, the more evidence comes forward that we are completely interconnected. Recently a book was published entitled The Second Brain. In it, the author describes how many of the mood regulating receptors are in the tissue lining our colons! In fact, depression has been linked to gut and digestive problems. Our memory also seems to be stored not only in our brains, but in our entire nervous systems. An obvious example: every time I walk into my hair stylists salon, I feel like I'm walking into Brotherton Hall at Centenary College in Hackettstown, N.J.. If I slow down to make a phone call in the lobby, I can sense traces of loneliness I felt during my gut wrenching homesickness that second year of college living so far from home and family. Why? Because the carpet smells exactly like the hallway carpet used my sophomore year dormitory! 

What about our bodies sensory experiences is so important in psychotherapy? First, when we come into the present moment and take time to really feel what's 'up' for us on a given day, we tune in to the most honest and current information about ourselves. Our bodies don't know how to lie like our brains do. So if I tell myself that my son isn't using drugs and my body is feeling fear that he might be, the best topic in therapy for me that day will likely be my fear. More, if I spend time with the fear and make room for it, I may end up exploring and healing my own history around being sixteen and experimenting with drugs. Or why I used them after my sister left for college and I became an only, lonely child. Then I can heal these memories and any misunderstandings or self-judgements that arose during this time. In psychotherapy, our bodies lead us places we may never think to go. These places are rich with memories and give us the opportunity to heal early misunderstandings and decisions we've made about ourselves, years before we could have understood the truest truth: That my older sister didn't abandon me because I wasn't worthy of her love.  And that using drugs was my best attempt to soothe myself before I had the inner resources to do it in a healthier way.

With blessings,

Susan